It's Monday, May 27th, 2019, a couple minutes away from 10:30pm. In about an hour and a half, I'll turn 34. There's an abundance of thoughts and emotions going through my mind right now, sad ones, happy ones, you name it.
Nothing to worry about here, one usually goes through these cycles when realizing they've been blessed with another year of life. After finishing school, I told myself I'd take a small break before really committing to my writing. It's been about six months. See, there's this tiny four-letter word that consumes me at times. So much, that I let it take control knowing it's only going to do more harm than good. I'm talking about fear. Many of the mistakes I've made in life were made due to fear.
I've offended plenty of people, hurt some, and that list includes me. There are choices I've made I wish I could take back, but we all know reality, it's just not possible. We have to stop asking ourselves "why does this happen to me?" when instead, we should be asking "what can I learn from this?" and move forward, never backwards. Believe it or not, there is something better after. Fear uses mechanisms to make us feel comfortable where we are. Making us believe it's better safe now than sorry later. As far as my writing goes, this blog and other personal projects I started, I kept dithering because I was asking myself fear-based questions again, what if my writing is stupid or who am I kidding, no one is going to read this shit.
Today, and from here on out, I'm changing my way of thinking and I'm making a vow to not allow fear to hinder my writing or my voice anymore. A person I used to work with years ago told me, "that 'safe than sorry' is bullshit, I'd feel better knowing I failed trying than apologize later for not doing it." She was an absolute pain in the ass and was eventually fired. But I'll say this, she may have had a big mouth, but what came out of that mouth that day contained some lucidity. That is my words of wisdom in my first post. Never sell yourself short. What you bring to the table is important and has great value somewhere. Don't settle because settle is another word for remain, who the fuck wants to remain anywhere. No, instead persist, because that means to continue. Continue being a fucking rock star no matter where you are in life.
Changing gears, I'm going to take a page from Taylor Swift's book (not really, it's her article in Elle from March), and tell you 34 things I've learned before turning 34.
Go easy on the Game of Thrones showrunners and writing team. They gave us eight magnificent seasons. You're basing your entire disappointment of the whole series based on the failures of its last season. Did the whole White Walkers narrative fall short? Absolutely. Did they really have to make Daenerys go bonkers? Not really. When people create these shows for television, or film, they're creating them as a creative expression, THEIR creative expression. If George R.R. Martin, the author of the series, agreed with their vision, why can't we? Do you think there were audiences who revolted when Romeo and Juliet killed each other? Or called damned Shakespeare when Hamlet died in Horatio's arms? Game of Thrones was a tragedy, and if you didn't get that from the moment Ned Stark's head flew off, then you weren't paying attention. We have to respect their creative vision instead of rebelling like they brought us harm. A petition to rewrite the last season? Because a fictional character burned bunch of fictional innocent people? Do you know who does deserve our insurgence? The non-fictional women whose rights are being attacked by our government. Did I mention non-fictional?
A peanut butter, jelly, and bacon sandwich, or "Fool's Gold Loaf", tastes delicious. I know you're making a face and stop it. First off, treat your tongue to different things. You're still making it, just stop. Tell me, describe the level of lameness it feels to eat the same crap day in, day out? I mean, with the exception you're deathly allergic to certain foods, I think you should try things at least once instead of being that person who takes verbal assaults on specific foods without ever trying them. If salty & sweet is your thing, it's a similar taste. Honestly, I have to ask, what is really stopping you from trying one?
Killing Eve is flat out magnificent. Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh are breathtaking in every... single... episode. It just wrapped up its second season and there aren't that many episodes, they run approximately 30 minutes each so you can probably binge it. Binge. Back in the 90's, I'd use that word when referring to that junkie friend couped up in a Motel 6 for days, but now we use it for describing our watching habits. Crazy world, isn't it? Season 1 & 2 can be streamed through BBC America. Hulu also has the series but at the moment, only Season 1 is available. I hate commercials so I saw the first one on Hulu a la no interrupciones then moved on to BBC America.
Unless you're in theater or work for TNT, there is zero room for drama. Some of my closest friendships, dating back to elementary school, ended because of unnecessary drama. We're constantly given advice to "surround yourself with people who share your enthusiasm" because it's a very true statement, why would you want to be around people who drag you down than lift you up? Even though I always joke that advice can be misconstrued by bad people on so many levels (Manson, Hitler, etc.). Point out the people who thrive on causing spectacles, they only do it to because they're insecure and it makes themselves feel better. Just kick 'em to the curb because eventually, you'll be on the other end of their spectacles and it doesn't feel as good as you think it does. Go down your contact list, I'll wait.
Student loans suck a big fat one. I mean if you like big fat ones, not judging you, just have more questions like why? I mean enjoyable, sure, don't get me wrong, but the analogy is meant to be negative so it kind of destroys its objective when someone uses the term and some person out there thinks, wait, so it's a bad thing? Where were we? Oh, yes, student loans. I, unfortunately, don't come from money and I didn't inherit a fortune from my abuelos’, so like most, I earned my degree via a lender sucking my blood on a monthly basis. I'm part of the 44 million borrowers in debt, yes, 44 MILLION. Student loan debt this year is the highest it's ever been. To all parties, Democrats, Republicans, Macadamia Nuts, whatever, we have to figure out a way to relieve debt in this country and give students uvula's a break (wink, had to squeeze one more in there).
Take a little time out of your day to cook something new. I may not have inherited money but I sure as hell did inherit my families cooking skills. Although I follow a low-carb diet (most of the time), I make sure to look up a new recipe every week and try it out. This one is especially directed to guys. Most of the beautiful women who raised me, cooked for me all the time. I would watch their techniques, their habits, their secrets and I would ask how they pulled off some really yummy Mexican plates. Even to this day, I still text my mom for her recipes. When my wife and I are taking lunch, the usual reaction is "HE COOKS?! You're a lucky lady!" And not to be cocky, but she is a damn lucky lady. It's a gesture that goes a long way, especially when you use the main ingredient: love. Come back soon, I'll post some healthy recipes for you to try.
Watch cartoons. I love cartoons. If that's all they showed on television, I'd be happy. I usually get a weird look when I tell people I still watch animated shows or anime. I get it. We're adults, we're told we need to be serious and see “adult” things. That's just one of the silliest things I've ever heard. Cartoons help keep your inner child happy and the power animation possesses is also goddamn impressive. Not only that, I think cartoons are also the funniest medium out there.
Today is not only my birthday, it's also International Day of Action for Women's Health. Just like I said in my first point, do something about REAL issues.
When you find someone to be your partner, make sure you find the right person who will be able to call you out on your shit but who is also patient enough to support you while you focus on getting thus said shit together. This next part kind of relates to Wisdom 15 below. You might have stayed with someone because in your mind that's who you envisioned you'd be with, your dream person per se. Once you get with a person that fits the bill, don't toss out compatibility. You are an amazing person and you deserve someone who will treat you the same way. Remember what I said about settling? Goes for this too. Your partner must always challenge you, because if you're not being challenged, then you and that person are not really evolving. What else? Oh, yes, communication and respect. No offense but fuck that whole "love is everything" shit.
It's now 1:01am. I'll probably feel it tomorrow, but I told myself I'd get this done, so today is my exception. Don't fool yourself with the invincible crap. Get your 7 to 8 hours of sleep in daily. Not only will you feel great and sharp enough to fucking kill it the next day, you're also doing your body a favor, especially the corazon.
Normally, I'm not a desserts guy. I mean I do love chocolate and ice cream but I'm not into candy-candy in general. With that said, try this gelato place called Frost. It's authentic Italian gelato and it's just utterly amazing. I said authentic, but really, I have no idea what the hell authentic gelato tastes like. We say its authentic Italian because it was created by a Sicilian chef, yet it was served in Paris. Regardless, try this place out, you won't be sorry. My favorite is the peanut butter crunch, make it a shake and add chocolate whipped cream. Yeah, I said chocolate whipped cream.
Go to Disneyland at least once a year, Halloween time is the best, in my opinion. Local school district still in school, summer peeps out, and other peeps wait for the holidays instead, so the lines are waaaay better. Most people I know tell me the place is for kids. And I see your point and I respect it, but you have to reciprocate respect when I say fuck off. Majority of the rides, yeah okay, their themes are directed for kids because guess what genius? It's Disney-Land. Disneyland's environment makes you feel like there's nothing else outside of the entry gates. I live on a schedule almost every single day, Disneyland brings out the child in me. Let's me relive old memories while creating new ones with the people I care about the most. If you want to tell me to grow up, don't feel disrespected when I tell you you're old AF (as kids say to me nowadays).
Try to limit your time on social media. I use it, friends use it, marketers use it now more than ever, it's understandable. It's fun, you find funny videos, cool images, but really, you don't need it THAT much. Cell phones now come with cool features that tell you how much time you spend on these apps. If you're spending hours a day looking at Facebook or Instagram, you need to cut back because there's more out there than a phone screen. I'm promoting my blog via social media so maybe just get off of it AFTER you read this.
Watch America Ferrara’s TED talk. America is one of my favorite human beings, and no, not because she is Latina, but because she is a smart, funny, and charismatic. I am a fan. From Ugly Betty to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants to Superstore, (if you haven't seen it, I suggest you watch IMMEDIATELY), she has brought excellence to every single role. She is an actress, author, director, activist and her voice is truly an inspiration. Humanity needs more people like America. With that said…
Follow your dreams but also, know when NOT to. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to be an actor. But as I got older, I realized I just wanted the glitz and glamor of the whole thing. I spent a lot of time by myself, so I thought being an actor would bring more attention from people and that was the answer to everything. Soon after, I realized it was writing that loved more. I decided this is what I want to do and I’m going to do all possible to learn new things about it to become better at it. Deep down, I know writing won’t bring me fame or loads of money, but I enjoy the process. There's a certain agony to it, yet I still gain massive amount of joy out of creating conflict with narratives and dialogue. However, let me make it absolutely clear, no one should ever have any say in your decision to follow your dreams. Only you have the right to make that choice. Read Mark Manson’s article, "Why Some Dreams Should Not Be Pursued". He explains it much better than I do.
If you know me, you know I have two favorite foods: Tacos and Pizza. My first love was food and if you can’t tell in my pictures, it shows. It’s a love and hate relationship, as my wife says. Tacos come in many shapes and forms, you can stuff them with pretty much anything and call it a taco. But I’m talking about the carne asada, pastor, birria, tripas… OH THE JOY! Don’t even get me started on tacos dorados (or hard-shell/fried tacos). There’s a plethora of ways to make tacos. The important thing, and this is key, is how you make the innards. I’ve been wanting to use that word for some time now. If you over cook your meat or the taste is off, then you better start learning some new techniques because your taco stinks (that’s what she said). As for pizza, well I’ll eat any pizza, but my favorite is just red sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni, and mushrooms. I know true pizza artists will hate me, but I love chain pizza as much as I love a good ol’ Neapolitan pizza. There’s several reason why I married Jojo, but one of them is because we had a mutual admiration for tacos and pizza. Basically, the way to each other’s hearts was through dough. What is your favorite pizza and from where? Extra points for international pies.
Rest in peace, Tim Conway. I used to have insomnia when I was younger. Had some pretty rough nights. Probably explains my lack of attention in school, but that’s another story. Anyway, when I stayed up, I used to watch old sitcoms such as: The Dick Van Dyke Show, Mary Tyler Moore, All in the Family, The Carol Burnett Show, The Jeffersons, I Love Lucy, etc. One of the comedians I liked, which stood out, was Tim Conway. Watching his skits were comedy gold, if you pay close attention, you can trace back my goofball, sarcastic remarks back to Tim Conway. Not really trying to convince you to go back and watch them, this is simply something I wanted to do because he recently passed away and I thought the world of him. Honk if you love Tim Conway.
Try to stay active and eat right. My trainer, my physical therapist, and family doctor will repeat this over and over: the body was meant to keep moving. The less you move, the less your body does, and we all know what happens when your body and its organs stop moving. I knew my weight was getting out of control way before I met my wife, but I was happy putting anything in my mouth (except dick, I know where you are going with it) and not thinking of the consequences. When we got engaged, I promised Jojo, and myself, I’d get in shape for the wedding. We’ve been with our trainer, Eric, ever since and I can’t tell you how my body appreciates it. We also continued with our diets (Keto, Macro) and it does wonders not only for staying in shape but also maintaining a steady energy throughout the day. If you're in the valley, reach out to him, he loves new customers!
Meditate. I don’t do this one often, but I try to after our workouts. My smart watch makes sure I take one-minute breaths two or three times a day every day too. Doing so really keeps me grounded. I have a bit of a temper when bad things keep happening but breathing and just meditating really helps keep those emotions at bay. Being mad a minute a day is a minute too much. Life is short, why spend so much of your time being angry, no one benefits from it. You're asking yourself where to even start, right? Here is a start.
It’s only right that right after meditation, comes BE KIND. People are so rude and it only gets worse every day. I feel like somewhere in the world there's some troll under a bridge secretly generating condescending pricks Gremlin style. Did someone hold open the door for you? Say thank you, wink, shake their hand, anything as long as you acknowledge the deed. Say please, don’t demand, even the royal family is kinder than your insolent ass. Sometimes I take the time, and I don’t know why, to scroll through comments on Instagram and I find some of the nastiest remarks from people. My first take is probably some immature kid with nothing better to do. Nope! Nine times out of ten, it’s actually some immature grown ass adult with nothing better to do. As Seth and Amy would say, "REALLY?" I mean, did you have to go and tear someone’s confidence down? For what? What does it do for you? I'm seriously asking, does it give you power like some hateful highlander sent to destroy confidence? You’ll probably say you have the right to say whatever you want, and you’re right, you do have the right. But where does it say you have the right to be such a disgusting human being? It’s in the very anatomy of what we are, human + kind. This post or my comments won’t change the minds of those people I speak of, and I certainly don’t wish anything bad upon them, quite the opposite. I wish for nothing but good things come your way and that you're surrounded by peers that accept you. As much as I truly dislike them, I know deep down you deserve better than whatever it is you got going on now.
I’ve developed an obsession for K-Pop recently. Wait, let me be more specific. I’ve developed an adoration for BLACKPINK recently and I fear it can’t be stopped. While I also like BTS, I haven’t quite ventured to other bands, but the genre is so addicting. It pumps you up, it empowers you, and it’s just positive in every way. My wife introduced me to two things: Korean/Japanese/Chinese dramas and BLACKPINK. I’ll admit I was skeptical. But then it all grew on me and I grew attracted to the appeal of the whole thing. BLACKPINK then released the song “Kill This Love” and it was beguiling, so I decided to listen to their entire category. Catchy pop tune anthems and choreography is my thing, I guess. Most people I share this with will gift me with a look of disbelief. I don’t know if maybe it’s because I’m a guy or because I’m Hispanic, but why not treat your ears to something different? The number one rebuttal is, “I just don’t know what they’re saying”. But if you’re a Spanish speaker like me, how do you think it feels when you're listening to Spanish-speaking music around others who don’t understand it, yet you somehow want them to know how great it is? Take the time and listen to BLACKPINK, with an open mind, maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t, what do you have to lose. All I know is, I realized I became a Blink, and I don't care... I love it. #blackpinkistherevolution
Buy vinyl or compact discs. Our society has become digital. I love innovation and technology, I’m all about that digital life. But I still buy CD’s once in a while. For me, playing a CD in the car brings back memories of being a teenager and just locking myself in my room to listen away for hours. I have a firm belief that just how we have been gifted with this technology to listen anywhere, it can easily all be taken away. I can survive life without music, I’m not that dramatic, but why would I want to even be in a position where that’s the case? Also, buying CD’s supports the artist more than streaming it does.
Read. Read. READ!!! It’s good for your brain!
Never stop learning. We are what we are because we evolved. That’s what identifies us, evolution. So, why would you allow your knowledge to revert? Every day teaches us something new, but that’s not enough. Those who seek, grow. Those who suppress, shrink. It’s really that simple.
I like my coffee two ways: black or with heavy cream and stevia. Not that anyone cares how I take my coffee but there’s a recommendation coming, I promise. There this whole feud between the two coffee staples Starbucks and Dunkin which I had no idea about until I heard two people arguing outside a grocery store about where they were going to get coffee. Here is my advice, you like simple coffee go to Dunkin. Their roast is better for traditional coffee drinkers. If you like espresso and sugar packed drinks that mask the taste of your coffee, go to Starbucks. The purpose of this point, however, was not for any of that, sorry for the detour. My favorite drink from Starbucks is the Iced Caramel Cloud Macchiato and I recommend trying one. When I used to work at a bakery inside an AJ’s Fine Foods, customers loved their lattes. Up until then I had never tried one, so I decided to make myself one for lunch. I fell in love with the frothiness immediately. The froth in these drinks are just to die for. I make myself feel a little better by getting it with sugar-free vanilla syrup but just try one. If you’re interested in stocks or how these compete against each other on a financial level, click here.
Stop using so much goddamn plastic. Use your own totes and stop using straws. I stopped using straws a long time ago when I had my wisdom teeth removed for fear of dry socket. Eventually, it just became habit. Besides, I think one gets more liquids by slurping than sucking (am I right?). No but with all seriousness, unless you require straws due to injury or illness, stop using straws they do more harm than good. I’m sure the planet and animal kingdom will love you for sacrificing staining your teeth.And if you don’t believe the planet is in danger see number 23 and 24 above.
There is a special place in hell for people who don’t use their blinkers and/or who don’t know how to merge into lanes properly. Every time I’m driving, I see four to five cum guzzlers shoot from one lane to another last minute. Seriously? Did you not know your exit was coming up? Because every other mile there’s this huge sign above letting you know what exits are coming up not only by name but also by their distance! What goes through your mind when you do shit like that? Oh, it’s okay, people will let me pass. Do you think it’s an accomplishment because you somehow beat other drivers and death? And blinkers are there for a reason. I know you don’t care about advising other people where you’re turning or merging to, but guess what, this will blow your mind. Those other people do! Okay, this was more mouthing off than anything, and I promise you'll never see another rant like that in my blog, not one. To put it nicely, learn how to drive because there are other lives that matter on the road not just yours. Next time you're driving, literally, check how far your finger is from the blinker.
I highly encourage all of you to listen to the entire Beatles catalog. I love everything about rock n roll, the music, the history of it all and the Beatles are a gift from the Gods. Back in community college there was this kid (he was way older than me) who looked at the group and said, “I think all people who say the Beatles music is good don’t know what music is”. I felt bad for him, he made a fool of himself and he really didn’t know what he was missing. Their jams are fun, they’re an ear worm waiting to happen, they’re just everything and I don’t think the world would be the same without them. But if you are curious, check the trailer for the new movie, Yesterday.
Wu-Tang Clan is truly nothing to fuck with.
Make sure you’re registered to vote. It’s already the end of May, so 2020 is just around the corner. Not many countries get the right we have to vote, and believe it or not, we have a voice. While I do believe the Electoral College is pointless and evil, you should still make some kind of impact to the world we live in by making your vote count. I don’t care who you vote for, just as long as you do so with facts and believing it’s the right vote. What are you doing? You should have already been looking up if you're registered to vote. Fine, here I found it for you.
La La Land is one of my favorite movies and still makes me cry every time I watch it. Singing, dancing, and the story is just soooo good. So good we made it the cover to our wedding book (see bottom). I had a hardcore debate with a cousin of mine when she said The Greatest Showman was better than La La Land. Normally, I’d say hey, it’s your opinion. I don’t like to compare musicals like that because deep down I think they’re all wonderful. But she told me she just didn’t get the point of La La Land. If you understood the point of P.T. Barnum’s struggles to bring joy through spectacle no matter how bizarre, how can you not get the point of Sebastian and Mia’s love for each other in the city of Los Angeles? If you don’t like musicals, you won’t really care about this one but still, it’s a great film (so was Moonlight, chill out).
Essential oils are the absolute shit! Will they cure your illness? Probably not, but just like over the counter drugs, it will relieve you of your symptoms and make it a little easier to survive the storm. Also, this is a much more natural way to go about it. I have this thing where I don’t trust pharmaceutical companies, let alone put their products in my body unless I really need to. Check out the AromaTouch Technique.
Sometimes, it’s hard to turn away from an argument and come out with the feeling of weakness or defeat. But I’m telling you right now, that’s your pride jumping in and blurring the bigger picture. When we are angry or upset, our minds go from one extreme to another and causes us to say things we’ll regret, actions we may never reverse. When you find yourself in a situation like this, walk away and put some space between you and the person. Once you have calmed down, then you can confront one another. And FYI, the word confrontation tends to be associated to negativity, but I’ve learned to not see it that way. It’s merely a disagreement between two people with different perspectives. The point is never to try to convince the other person to do anything, it’s to let the other person understand your perspective and respect it. Be the bigger person, always.
I’ve been truly blessed to have some of the best family and friends. An inner circle of friends who I’ve known for so many years. Family that no matter how hectic we can get, we’re there for one another. All of you have seen me at my worst and at my best. The fact you stuck by me and supported me through all of it, means the world to me. For the friends I’ve lost either through misunderstanding or pure arrogance (especially on my behalf), I’m sorry our friendship ended because I can guarantee you, we had some memorable times. But I’m happy and I’m sure you are happy, and that’s all that matters. To my gorgeous, electrifying, loyal, and funny wife, thank you most of all. We live in a crazy, fucked up world right now, but being able to see it through your colorful perspective makes it a world I still want to be part of. Day after day, I learn so many things being with you and it never grows old. I might have turned 34 today but with you, I feel younger and more alive than ever. You are my fountain of youth, the only wonder of the world, I love you. Thank you all for taking the time to read this long ass post, I love you all. Cheers.
